Interview #3-Nepal

Melanie Folske
English 191.21
Pranaya Dhungana
Nepal
11-7-2009

Preparations for the interview were very easily made since this was my final interview. I had two sets of questions on the table for myself and the interviewee as well as the video camera that I had borrowed from a friend. We met up in the café room in the library and then proceeded to a room that I had previously booked on the second floor. I used the same list of questions as I did the other two times because it worked really well and helped me to achieve an hour for length. It also was a good guideline to have sitting in front of me. It was a reminder to me to try to keep the interview on track in case it got off-topic. My objectives changed somewhat in that I didn’t dress up in a super-professional manner as I had the previous times. I learned that dressing up seemed to intimidate the interviewee and I didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable. So, instead, I just wore a nice pair of jeans as well as a nice solid-colored t-shirt to avoid distraction.

My first interviewee, Avi from Nepal, has a roommate from Nepal as well as some other friends from there. He tried really hard to help me out and offered to talk to some of them about being interviewed. Avi sent me a message via Facebook saying that he had talked to his roommate about being interviewed and he agreed. He gave me his roommate’s name and then I sent him a message on Facebook saying who I was and that I appreciated him considering helping me out. We then proceeded to set up a date, time, and place to meet for the interview. I was actually less nervous for this interview since I didn’t know him, whereas for my first interview I was really nervous since I had previously met him and didn’t want to make a fool of myself.

On Saturday, November 7th at 7:30p.m., Pranaya Dhungana and I met up in the library café room. We then went up to a room that I had previously booked. I conducted the interview in a very professional manner in that I had water there for the both of us as well as the questions in front of us. I had the camcorder on the table as well and I asked him if he wouldn’t mind me recording him. He offered to even be on the video, but I told him that it wouldn’t be necessary and that I didn’t want him to be nervous at all, so I kept the lens cap on. Although I didn’t really dress up for it, I don’t think that he really noticed. I think that because of the difference in wardrobe, the environment was more comfortable and less anxious than it had been the previous two times. He was very comfortable and really enjoyed answering my questions and talking about his country as well as the experiences he has gone through here. He turned out to be my best interview and I was really fortunate to have had such luck with him. I learned a lot about the culture of Nepal because of him. I’d say he would be the ideal interviewee for anyone. His only flaw was that he talked maybe a little more than needed and also got off-track a few times.

Pranaya Dhungana was born in Chitwan, Nepal. When he was seven or eight years old, he moved to Kathmandu. He is 25 years old and has been in America since fall of 2004. He started off studying computer science and then later switched to graphic designing. He is very passionate about graphic designing and is very confident that he will succeed in that particular field. I noticed during the interview that he especially enjoyed talking about food and his favorite places. He has a brother who lives with his wife in Missouri. He has a sister who lives with her husband in Minneapolis. He goes to Minneapolis to see them for all of the American and Nepali holidays and goes to Missouri during the summer each year. He hasn’t been back to Nepal since he moved to America but talks to his parents once a month over the phone. He claims that he doesn’t really miss them all that much. He has formed a new family with the friends that he has made here in Saint Cloud. His favorite food is American chop suey, which is made in Nepal and he has not been able to locate it here.

The interview from my vantage point was that it went really well. As a matter of fact, I don’t think it could have gone any better than it did! I am very fascinated with the meanings of the Nepali names. From what I gathered, they all have a specific meaning which they hold close to them. They try to live up to their names. What really gave pause to me was the fact that he hasn’t been back home since he arrived in America. I am so close to my family and I couldn’t imagine not seeing them for 5 years like he has. I was moved by the conversation we had about religion. My first interviewee as and this one were so passionate while talking about their religion. They care so much about it and make a lifestyle out of it. It reminded me that I have a religion too, but it’s not nearly as important to me as theirs is to them. I think that we Americans live such a fast-paced lifestyle that we forget to put time and thought into religion. While studying Nepal, I have found the arranged marriages to be very interesting. I particularly asked Pranaya many questions about how the arranged marriage system works and what his opinion of it is. He definitely doesn’t want to marry someone who he doesn’t know and thinks that times are changing in Nepal. He thinks that the people of Nepal are gradually becoming more open to the idea of dating and relationships, but to an extent.

Nepal is a small landlocked country. The World Factbook states that Nepal is located in “Southern Asia between China and India.” It can be compared with the size of Arkansas. Nepal’s population is approximately “28563,377 as of July 2009,” according to The World Factbook. The northern side of the country is mountainous. A major landmark there is Mount Everest. Nepal was formerly called the Hindu Kingdom. The common language spoken there is Nepali.

As for religious values, more than three-quarters of the population are Hindu, the next being Buddhist, then Christianity, and the few minorities that they have are Muslim. The political system that they have is very unstable. The healthcare is fairly inexpensive. Although illegal, marijuana is very common there. They have a holiday each year for smoking marijuana in honor of the Hindu god, who lives off of marijuana.

An old tradition used for greeting people is putting your palms together in front of your chest while saying “Namaste.” Nowadays, the mainstream culture of Nepal will occasionally shake hands for greeting people instead. As for food, rice is very popular. It is included in at least two meals each day.

Dating and relationships are considered to be taboo. Parents arrange the marriages. It is very common to not meet your spouse until the day you get married. The arrangement is made as symbolism of the parents getting along and also depends on which caste they belong to. Also, the boys can’t talk to the girls the way that they talk to the boys, and vice versa because it is against their cultural norm. “Physical contact between the sexes is not appropriate in public. Although men may be openly affectionate with men and women with worm, even married couples do not demonstrate physical affection in public.”3 The Nepalese people are very reserved, unlike the openness of Americans.

During their free time, it is common for the Nepalese to socialize. They will go to their neighbor’s house to discuss the day’s events and to drink tea. They meet their friends in school or in sports they play, such as soccer. Once they have a particular group of friends, they tend to stay in that group.

1-2: https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/np.html 27 Oct 2009.
3: http://www.everyculture.com/Ma-Ni/Nepal.html. 27 Oct 2009.

M-First off, let’s start off with your full name and its meaning
P-Its Pranaya Pratap Kumar Dhungana. Pranaya means love; Pratap means courageous-like a strong person; Kumar is basically a word given to someone who’s not married—means a virgin; Dhungana means stone
M-If you don’t mind, I’m going to move this (the camcorder) a little closer to you.
M-So how do you feel about your name? Do you hold its meaning to yourself?
P-I actually like it—when I was a kid I didn’t see anyone else with my name; it’s a really neat name, and as I grew up I started to realize it’s actually a common name. The interesting thing is, many people can’t say it right, that is—many Nepalese can’t say it right. There are actually only two people who know how to pronounce it so I really like it a lot. Even my brother can’t say it correctly. It’s because the sound comes directly from Sanskrit.
M-Impressive. Okay, so where exactly are you from?
P-Um, I was born in the city of Chitwan—that’s where my brother and father were born. Um, that’s where I was born, but I was raised in my mother’s house—I was there until 7 or 8 years old. But after that I went to Kathmandu where my parents and brothers were and that’s where I went to school and then after high school I came to US. So basically I was in Kathmandu for 12 years.
(Conversation trails off into more stuff about where he grew up.)
M-How long have you been in America? When did you move here?
P-Ah, I came here fall of 04. I first came to Iowa and went to a private university. But a lot of my friends were here-my big brother’s best friend was here and he said if I came to St Cloud he’d help me with everything. Living in the dorm was pretty expensive so I decided to move in here in spring semester of 05, so I spent fall semester in Iowa, but I’ve been living here since then.
M-What are you studying?
P-Graphic Designing. I was in computer science for three years then I quit and went into graphic designing.
(conversation trails off into graphic designing)
M-What do people from your home country do for fun during their free-time? Any sports?
P-Soccer is a very very very big thing in Nepal. Everybody-almost 99% of people in Nepal love soccer. And, there’s cricket, as usual. Hobbies- I don’t really know how to describe it cause most of the times all the young gets ride motorbikes. We just take a bike, go somewhere, or we’ll usually meet up at homes and go play soccer again or cricket or something like that but mostly traveling-me and my friends would all go traveling. I guess music is a big deal-people are into music a lot. Dancing, too, but it’s usually girls-stereotype, you know. But I would say people like sports and music a lot.
M-Do you keep in contact with your family by the computer?
P-Yeah, but my mom calls me almost every month. I don’t really miss them. I’ve never been back yet—5 years and I haven’t been back. My brother and his wife live in Missouri so most of the breaks I go there summertime we usually meet. One of my uncles lives in the cities and he’s married to an American aunt so I go there for Nepalese holidays and stuff.
M-that must be convenient for you! Where was your favorite place in Nepal? Anywhere in Nepal…
P-there are two places I’ve always loved. One would be a place called ________. We usually take a bike all the way up there. There are a bunch of spots where on a really bright day you can see the Himalayas. It’s insanely beautiful. Also, if you or anyone ever goes to Nepal I suggest visiting “Lumini”-where Buddha was born-it’s a very beautiful city. You should be there. I go there every time I go to see my grandma. I usually go down there and spend 5 hours there. I just disappear. It’s pretty awesome.
M-Going backwards, you’ve been here for 5 years, so that would make you..?
P-I’m 25 now. (discusses where he went between the end of high school and coming to the U.S.)
M-What do you miss the most about Nepal?
P-Honestly-I miss the food. There’s this thing—you know chop suey, right?—well um, there’s very few restaurants in Kathmandu that have this thing they call American chop suey and it’s pretty different almost everywhere I’ve been in America in all of the restaurants they have chop suey but it’s not the same thing. I talk to my parents all the time and see their pictures so I never actually miss them. And all my close friends from school are here in the US. So I really only miss the food.
M-do you cook a lot of your foods here?
P-yeah, we cook a lot. I mean a lot.
M- do you use a lot of different spices then?
P-everyone likes turmeric powder a lot and meat seasoning or vegetable seasoning and chili pepper.
M-Do you make a lot of rice?
P-rice is the main thing-the first two meals of the day- and then there’s always gravy and then different vegetables or meat. (Conversation trails off about meat and vegetables.) We don’t eat beef in Nepal-because of religion, but we eat buffalo-we call it “buff.” Not wild buffalos but water buffalos. People prefer cow milk to buffalo milk but there’s a lot of people who actually like buffalo milk, it’s really healthy.
P-There are different caste systems in Nepal. Avi’s from a different caste; I’m from a different caste, and there’s another one called Newar they’re like the business main caste.
M-How many different castes are there?
P-There are 4 castes and then 6 different subcastes. So basically it’s Brahmin, like the first, then the second would be Chitsu, then Newar, then the lower class, the Untouchables. If this was 20-30 years back and if I had friends from different castes my parents wouldn’t allow it-it would be very hard for them to accept. Things like that, like people getting married to a different caste in Nepal-that’s really antisocial and people used to fight. It’s not so much like that now because people have more open minds about it.
M-That’s definitely something that interests me about Nepal-especially the arranged marriage part of the culture.
P-yeah definitely-arranged marriage is the big thing in Nepal. That’s what my mom wanted for me. I was in Missouri and I met this girl who happens to be somehow related. She was pretty and I called my mom and told her I like her. She said, “Okay then you can get married.” I was just joking but then my mom kept calling me and I told her I was kidding. She said “Don’t worry about it you can come to Nepal and I’ve been talking to her family and she has a good family, so…” blah blah blah. I don’t think I could do the whole arranged marriage thing. No way, I mean I don’t want to marry someone I don’t know.
M-But that’s how your parents got married though, right?
P-Yeah, but the thing is, my dad’s family and my mom’s family knew each other and my grandpa from my dad’s side- his brother or sister were married to…ahh wait a second, yeah, my mother’s aunt was married to my dad’s uncle so that would make them 3rd or 4th cousins so I guess that is okay to marry in Nepal. I mean my dad and my mom they didn’t really know each other though because they were from completely different cities.
M-What do you think is the biggest misconception Americans have about your country or culture.
P-ah I don’t know. Actually I’ve never met anybody I mean, I have met a lot of people where I say I’m from Nepal—they’ve never even heard of it, they’re like, Naples, Italy-oh yeah. Ya know? And we look Spanish so we get that a lot. Um, I mean when I first came here that used to irritate me but it doesn’t really bother me anymore.
M-What is the biggest difference between the US and Nepal?
P-Um, I think the first most important thing is the way things are managed here. The government’s pretty strong and I don’t know if people are going to be honest about it but police in America are really powerful. It’s like, police come over and people are like, okay let’s hide. People have to respect the police, especially if they deal with the law even if you don’t want to you have to. Back in Nepal people really don’t respect the law at all. They don’t care about police. They’ll beat up the police. I mean seriously. I think management of the country is the biggest different. Nepal doesn’t really have a strong government at all and if the government isn’t strong I don’t think the country will be strong and people won’t really support each other--people are really stingy in Nepal.
M-What is your culture’s view of our country? Were there any stereotypes?
P-Oh yeah a lot, trust me.
M-Negative, I’m sure?
P-A lot of negative. I don’t know I had a lot of problems too you know, like, it’s basically always the TV or the news or whatever and you watch a movie and you see a white guy and a black guy. The white guy is always the good guy and the black guy is always the bad guy you know all the time. I don’t think people could actually understand it without living the life.
M-Isn’t that sad?
P-it is, I see a lot of big tall people like 14 or 15 years old and they’re two times as big as I am and if you see someone with any different skin people are like “hey look at that guy.” To them it’s like something different just happened. I mean I used to be like that if I saw a tourist I’d be like, “Damn look at that guy he’s white and he’s like 8 feet tall.”
(Conversation trails off into racism and basketball.)
P-talking about sports, I’d say about 95% of the Nepalese guys definitely know how to play ping-pong. And everyone knows how to play badminton. Soccer is in the Nepalese blood I think. There’s a lot of basketball but we don’t have any really good teams. We don’t really have all of the facilities.
M-What was your school like?
P-My kindergarten was pretty cool it was basically like my own school. I went to a different school for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade and the principal she and our family used to live in the same house as my family. The actual school that I went to was pretty awesome. In fact, it was one of Nepal’s top three schools. It was called Galaxy Public School. We were pretty good at answering teachers back. So yeah, I’m pretty proud of it. It’s one of Nepal’s best schools ever.
M-At what point in time did you learn to speak English?
P-Kindergarten. It’s mandatory.
M-Did you get in trouble for not speaking English?
P-No, I was a very good student. (laughs)
M-But if you didn’t speak it, would you?
P-There were rules—teachers would yell at us. I didn’t get beat up or anything but students would get punished a lot for speaking in Nepali. You’re not allowed to speak anything but Englishi. Even in Nepali classes, you had to be like, “Excuse me sir, I have a question,” and then you have to speak in Nepali.
M-Do your parents speak English?
P-My dad does, my mom doesn’t because my mom went to a different school. That was a pretty old school. They had English courses but my mother wasn’t into English at all. She can read and she can write but she’s been out of practice for a long time. She would be able to understand what I’m saying but she wouldn’t be able to understand you because to her that’d be a completely foreign accent. My dad speaks pretty good English. He was in India for six years and he travels a lot.
M-He must be very interesting to talk to.
P-Yeah, my dad’s a pretty fun guy.
(Conversation trails into animation and graphic design)
M-Other than Iowa and here have you traveled anywhere else in the United States?
P-A lot. Wisconsin, Ohio, Illinois, Maryland, Kansas, Missouri. I think more than 10 states. We travel from one place to another in the summer.
M-You mentioned that the political system is really rocky. Let’s talk more about that.
P-It’s really messed up. Freedom is just a word. It’s not like we can’t walk on the street but if there are any political issues. I don’t know where the hell they get all these people from but there are these riots in the streets and people just go around messing things up. I really am not interested in Nepal’s politics at all. Zero interest. I never liked it. I guess it depends on the way people think of it. There are a lot of people in Nepal who don’t go to school and are just there so they can throw stones at people. I guess they find those people. It’s the same thing in politics everywhere else in the world but in Nepal they just don’t care. I guess I should be caring but I don’t.
M-Drugs are illegal here…
P-It’s the same in Nepal. Youngsters all do it. I don’t-I never even smoked a cigarette in Nepal. Even drinking-I would never do it without my parents’ permission. I would sit down and drink with my parents and if I was going somewhere I would let them know. Concentration on drugs, people use a lot of marijuana. I don’t really know much about the other stuff because I was a good boy.
M-What religion are you?
P-Hindu.
M-What are the common religions there?
P-Hinduism and then Buddhism is the number two religion in Nepal. There are Muslims in Nepal but a really small percentage. It’s more about Hinduism than anything else. I have met two or three Christian people. My parents are hard-core Hindu. I’d like to say I’m hard-core but I’m religious. The best thing that I think is to keep a mind open. I follow everything--it doesn’t matter if I have to go to a church or a temple.
M-What do you like so much about Hinduism?
P-I don’t know. We see God in everything. There’s God for air, God for wind. There are three million Gods in the Hindu religion I think. Basically people follow the three main Gods and that’s what I follow. One of the best things I like about it is its open-minded. But yeah Hinduism had problems with Islamic religion and all that but that’s a different story. I don’t see any problems with it. One thing it has taught me is to be open with all of the religions.
M-Going back on the arranged marriages, would your mother be really disappointed if you went home with an American girl? Would she disown you?
P-She would be disappointed 120 percent. My mom finds it hard that I actually eat beef here because cow is sacred. She keeps on telling me that God’s not going to like me. I’m like, “Come on mom, its American cow. God doesn’t know that.” That’s another thing-to answer your question about differences between America and Nepal, people find American girls wild-crazy. I’m 25 years old if I was still in Nepal I’d still be living with my parents. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. They’d buy my food and clothes; they’d pay for my college. That’s why we are so spoiled. My mom would cook me food and do my laundry. Here you learn to be an individual—you become smarter. They would be intimidated by a young American girl who is three times smarter than they are and who can take care of herself already. They would find it hard and offensive. It’s cause you have to be formal all the time. I’m always nice to my mom. My dad is like my friend. I call him old man; I call him fat man all the time. He doesn’t care but if I talked to my mom like that she would ask, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
M-How old were your parents when they got married?
P-I think my mom was 17 or 18 maybe 16 and my dad was probably 24. I’ve never really asked him. My grandma got married when she was 13 so times have changed. My mom keeps saying I’m 25 years old and I should be married and I tell her there’s no way. The boy has to be older because that means they’re better than the girl. It’s kind of like that.
M-Is the purpose of getting married to take care of each other? There’s no love, right?
P-There’s always time to get to know each other during the engagement. The more time spent the closer you get. There’s a saying in Nepal: ”Love marriages don’t last long.” You see it in movies a lot where couples fall in love and in Nepal it’s the families that choose that for you. The culture here is so different-- it’s really helped me learn a lot, I mean a lot.
M-Well if you want to add more you can, but I have no further questions.
P-I can’t think of anything.
M-Okay thank you for your time. This was fun and a good learning experience for me.
P-Yeah, we will have to hang out sometime. Drink beer!
M-Sure! See you later.